doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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