my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
