I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
