There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
