Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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