so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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