I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
