If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
