So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you never un-have a 4some
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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