Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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