$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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