The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
