i think my tv is drunk
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
