My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
