Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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