we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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