She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As shirtless as possible
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
