we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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