I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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