A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
