Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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