My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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