I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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