sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
