it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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