Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
