my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
