I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
