Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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