Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
