When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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