Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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