I have demons in me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
