Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
