Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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