When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize