ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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