You're completely useless in the revolution.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
