forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Welp...herpes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
