Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
