brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
