I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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