I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
