please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize