Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
