you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
