one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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