he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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