scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
