During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He said I have the āDenzel Washingtonā of vaginas.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Howās big weiner McGee?
Iām going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and heās fine thank you very much
Randomize
