Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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