Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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