In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
