The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i would punch a child for taco bell
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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