my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
