i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
