you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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