just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Mom said you looked used
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I supernannyed him into submission
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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