kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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