Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
