Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
