brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
