Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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